I have a son who has been alive for 81 days. I feed him 8 times a day, which means I have fed him 648 times in his short span of life. Six hundred and forty eight times, and I have NEVER missed a feeding. Not once. Like clockwork, I feed my child and provide to fulfill exactly what he needs. He has never once gone hungry or been without. And you know what’s funny? If I happen to take the bottle out of his mouth for more than four seconds, he starts screaming at the top of his lungs and gives me this pitiful “Mooooommmmm how could you abandon me?!” look. He forgets. He forgets that I am his provider. He forgets that I will do exactly what I have promised. He forgets the 648 times I have previously taken care of his needs, and thinks I will fail him on the 649th.
I have been alive for 9,834 days. All nine thousand, eight hundred and thirty four days of my life, I have had a Provider who has taken care of all my needs. Every single one of them. He has never missed anything. He has shown up every day, and every time. He has never failed me. And like my son, I forget. I forget the 9,834 days behind me, and fear He will forget me on the 9,835th, that somehow His proven faithfulness will become void and no longer apply to me.
My son is teaching me about myself. I see myself in him. I often joke with him “do you really think I am going to leave you here to starve?” Of course not! I am his parent who loves him. It is my joy to care for him.
In a moment of recent anxiety, I began to fear and doubt the Lord’s provision. In the same moment of my doubt, I inaudibly heard Him say “have I ever not given you everything you need? Have I ever failed you?” I was immediately sobered, humbled, and repentant.
My love and provision for my son is an imperfect representation of God’s love and provision for me. I am an imperfect provider and parent. God is the perfect Provider and Father. He never misses and will always do what He has promised. Every time.
Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? -Matthew 6:26